hey guys! it's christmas time!

i can't very well quote a sufjan song title and not include it in the post. so HERE!

and now partake in the christmas spirit of lake oswego. this town is literally my dream come true. when people ask, "if you could live anywhere, where would you live?" ....i say "here."

golly, i sure do love you people. i am the luckiest human.

maybe my most favorite squirrel friend.

to love.

" Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." -Luke 2:14

miracle of miracles!

seriously. miracles all over the freaking place. if i had like, a crazy cheesy picture of myself jumping, i would totes post it right now. but i don't.

(you know what's disappointing? i didn't invent the word totes. i totes thought i did. it's lost a lot of its lustre for me.)

so.....i'm healthy again! i can't express how miraculous this feels. i can stand up for more than ten seconds. i can walk instead of crawl! i can exist void of piles of blankets and a space heater and a bag of frozen stir fry on my head. i can type with both hands! i can spell words correctly! my life doesn't look like a 3D movie anymore! (not as fun as it sounds, friends). i can smile! boy howdy, i am just filled with joy right now. still a little dizzy, but that's to be expected after three days of zero food intake. oh, and i can eat!

something that was extremely frustrating is that i was going to devote this week to applying for a second job (because this stupidity of ten hours a week is not cutting it--another reason being sick was inconvenient). and then ever since monday morning i was severely incapacitated. tuesday, during a brief period of lucidity, i went down my list of possible places of employment and called them all. most places were either not hiring or "always accepting applications" (i know your wily ways), but there was one. yes, one miraculous encounter at the residence inn. the nice lady named erin said she wanted to hire another front desk person, but she'd have to check with the general manager, and we agreed that i could come in thursday afternoon for an interview of sorts.

this is ridiculous already. who gets an interview without getting off the couch?

my health steadily deteriorated from monday to tuesday night, when my fever must have spiked because i was shaking and delirious and not okay. wednesday was only slightly better. my brain seemed to be functioning with a bit more cognizance, but every other symptom was still present. so this morning, when i woke up all clear-headed and normal, i was astounded and filled with unexpected glee.

on a sidenote, my keys went missing earlier this week, and not having used them for DAYS, it has proven an impossible task to find them. so my wonderful friend sam graciously took me to my interview during his lunch hour. we met a lovely LDS lady at the front desk, and were having an overall splendid conversation with the employees. erin informed me that her GM had vetoed hiring on another front desk human, but that in a week or two, there would definitely be openings in other areas, whether housekeeping, banquet serving, or whathaveyou. and.....

she basically offered me a job. i'm not sure when i start, but her exact words were "we'll get you in here for a real interview, and then we'll get you started." miracle of holy miracles. who gets a JOB basically without getting of their couch?!

so this day is definitely the best day of the week. by FAR.

and i seriously am so grateful to everyone who's been so very friendly while i've been so very sick.

maddie and damon, thank you for providing me with plenty of witty commentary on day 1.

cecily and katie o and robbie, thank you for your concerns.

amos and evan, thank you SO MUCH for your many conversations on days 2 and 3. amos, i'm sorry i got you sick through internests, and i think you need to be better now. evan, thank you for screwing with my mind constantly. i was so confused so much of the time. and that friggin british animal video. i watched that like ten times. you were both there for the worst of it and i really needed that.

suzie/psiouxee, thank you for taking my phone call and helping me finish my sentences when my brain melted a little. i miss you always.

katie sue, thank you for finally talking to me. ha. you're such a treasure, even if you play hard-to-get hardcore.

and thank you sam, for trying so hard to find a blessing partner on day 2. it all turned out okay. and thank you for coming over on day 3 and filling my need for human interaction and warm fires. it was maybe my most favorite fire ever. and thank you for helping me out with my job stuff today. you are my hero a little.

oh, and thank you both amos and sam for your suggestion to take a hot bath. that was miserable and woozy but i think instrumental in curing me.

i seriously just am filled with love and adoration for these people. and the rest of you as well, but i am overwhelmingly grateful for all the love i've felt these past few days, even from afar. i wish you all could be here.

man, i'm so happy right now!

coming up soon on bloggityblogness:

*Santa Claus Story! (it's very dear and hard to put into words, but i shall try)

*the erin crabtree model of indicated apathy (my theory on "i could care less")

and hey, listen, i see you. i know there's like, hundreds of you, reading, sneakretly. you don't have to, but i would love your comments. if i can't have you, i can at least have your words. let me know what you want me to write about as well, if you have ideas!

have a miraculous day and meyyee kissmisstime!

remember how utah has the most majestic mountains of all?

been on repeat for three days.

"Oh, I can see the day when we'll die
But I don't care to think of silence
For now, I hear you laughing
The greatest joy is like the sunrise

No gifts to give, they're all right here
Inside our hearts the glorious cheer
And in the house we see a light
That comes from what we know inside

I'll come to you, I'll sing to you
Like it's Christmas in the room
I'll dance with you, I'll laugh with you
Till it's Christmas in the room..."





i have music video images flitting through my head. i would love to create it someday. this song is pure bliss clothed in sweetest sorrow.



this is the christmas i dream of.



can you hear me from where you are?



psssst! magical picture obtained here.

a story for december

He yanked his father's galoshes on and scampered out the front door into the bitter black. Icy wind slapped his face and pulled tears from the corners of his eyes. Nothing was visible but the hard, glittering snow that covered the ground and the looming silhouette of his house against the clouded sky.

Thump, thump. The noise echoed from the roof and he shivered in his pajamas, staring anxiously. He could see nothing.

“Who's there?” His voice cracked in the empty night, betraying his panic.

The thudding came again, and he picked up a small jagged rock from the driveway.

“Hello?!” he screamed, louder and harsher.

He launched the rock, with all of the adrenaline he could muster, at the roof.

A soft sound of impact, then the rock tumbled back down. He hurried across the lawn to retrieve his fallen weapon. He picked up the rock, now wet and warm and red with blood. His eyes widened as he looked up.

And then a great weight was upon him and he struggled to breathe. He frantically wriggled his way out, staring at the mass. Some sort of animal. A deer. Its face was buried in the snow, where a warm glow flickered in and out.

His mind vaguely recalled books, about the forbidden holiday and the Anti-Christ and the dogs of the sky. Books that had been hidden, disposed of years ago.

It couldn't be.

That was all a lie. He had been told countless times that it was all a lie, and yet...he rolled over the great horned beast and saw the very thing he had dreaded. The shining red nose flickered a final time, then went out like a lightbulb.