near perfection.

song of the day: Start a War by The National

no, really, though. you should know that my life is amazing. my weekend consisted of roller derby, flight of the conchords, THE OREGON COAST, beach bonfires, stars, stories, learning new words, church, shooting children with nerf guns, and games night. Oh, and Severely Wonderful Humans. i love my ward. and i love my friends. and i...

i love the ocean. every time i see it, i am filled with this rushing energy of eternity and power. the whole world feels invincible and mighty, and i am a small yet somehow significant part of it that could be swept away at any moment. there's something freeing in feeling so powerless. knowing i am surrounded by much larger powers than my own. i have an unofficial ritual. when i see the ocean, when i reach the shoreline, i run to meet it, and stop just short of the water. then i allow it to consume me (emotionally). i can't explain this part. it just happens, and there is jumping and smiling and squealing and occasionally tears, and it is incredible. then i run or walk along the water line until i can breathe again, or until i can't.

just know that if you ever take me to the ocean, these things will happen.

i am living in a dream that i have woven.

this picture is directly out of my imagination, albeit a bit blurrier. i am so astonished at what my life is. i'm sorry for all my vague statements, but i prefer to feel there is some degree of mystery in my existence....i adore everything. just know that. the oceans and the forest are only outward representations, symbols, of the consuming bliss i have found here.

for those of you who don't recall, i came here without an inkling of the reason why. i came here with no money and no plan, other than to study with the national exchange program for a year. and then, i supposed, i would return, perhaps. well, nothing has gone according to plan. which, if you know me at all, i consider to be a magnificent thing. i got a job which vaguely supported me for a while, but soon i was running out of money. it was find a new job or go home. legitimately. there was an ultimatum, and i almost failed. but miracle after miracle has kept me here, and i know more than ever that THIS IS WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE. and i couldn't be happier about that fact, for this place is my personal heaven. these people are my ones. My Ones.

everything feels like christmas, only lasting. and every day is a surprise. and every week my life changes. i swear my jaw is still hanging open 90% of the time.

hey guys! it's christmas time!

i can't very well quote a sufjan song title and not include it in the post. so HERE!

and now partake in the christmas spirit of lake oswego. this town is literally my dream come true. when people ask, "if you could live anywhere, where would you live?" ....i say "here."

golly, i sure do love you people. i am the luckiest human.

maybe my most favorite squirrel friend.

a drab orbit biases

ah, yesterday i experienced for the first time the portland i had envisioned. it's all coming together, and soon life will feel the way it is meant to feel. glory glorious ablaze.....

(sam, cecily, brett, and shannon)

i met up with some ward people and their tagalongs at pioneer courthouse square, and then we gallivanted around the town. first to pastini pastaria, which graciously created a vegan dish for me.

(tegan)

unfortunately they forgot and still put the cheese on, so i separated that portion and gave it to a lucky winner.



we then took the MAX to the oh-so-splendid saturday market, in which i hope to someday take part.



this band was adequate, but the real magic was that they were covering a Beirut song.





puzzles!!! i was so enraptured as this man showed us his craft. there may have been a point where i giggled and shouted, "SHAPES!"



shortly thereafter, we departed, but meghan, tegan and i met up later to go to the canoe house show and celebrate meghan's upcoming birthday.



cameron and matt of canoe tune their instruments before the show. they played as a duo, which was wonderful, but i look forward to seeing the band in its entirety next month.



meghan and tegan and the magical wall of sun-tree in the background. this house was lovely. it reminded me of home. not a home i've ever had, just that floating, partially unattainable state of being we spend our lives searching for.

what i'm saying is that they had a dinosaur terrarium. and a three-legged dog named zelda.



this gentle and lovely man is A.W. Feldt. He is from Pocatello and he is magnificent. cameron of canoe described his music best when he said it "massages my soul."



this man of music would be jonathan sarenana, who lived in this house and hosted this event. thank you, sir. his music was also quite good.

after the concert, we attempted voodoo doughnut but were deterred by the lack of parking, the freezingness of the exterior world, and the enormous line. another time. i WILL eat me a doughnut.

so it was applebee's instead. they are NOT vegan friendly. be warned. at least they had my favourite food....



meghan, the birthday girl.

and if you made it this far.....congratulations!

also, videos of last night's show are on MY YOUTUBE PAGE!!!

i leave for utah tomorrow afternoon. can't wait to see you all. my life is truly wonderful. i am nothing short of ecstatic.

worth 16,001 words

fin.